3/7/03

Well, so much for changes coming. It might still happen, but as you can tell the reality of that happening is fairly slim. I think I failed a class today. Simply didn't do my final. How fucking pathetic can I get? I'm not sure, but this is pretty damn sad. I'm not working, and I'm going to pay $200 of my $322.77 long distance bill. I feel like such a fool. That should leave roughly $100 in my checking. I have no savings. I have no job. I hardly have any friends. I'm such a waste. Everything about me is half-assed.



11/19/2002

Confused, isolated and frustrated. These are the feelings that have been washing over me lately. I'm learning to deal, but it's hard on my own.



10/23/02

I feel like a complete jackass. I'm trying to get my life organized. For years now I've been skimming over life, viewing it from behind my monitor. I go to a tech school. That's a school for people who want decent jobs, but either can't afford to go to a real college or did something stupid like drop out of highschool. I can't say I tried hard at that school. The teachers practically hand you A's. Hell I passed a class that I didn't go to half of and skipped the final. Teacher gave me a D due to "difficulties with attendance."

Well I finally woke up. I realized that the person I want to be will only be the person I am if I get out of my chair. If I take control of my life now, like I should have several years ago.






I am very stoned right now, and the best thing for me to do would be go to bed so that I can make it to school in the morning.

Changes are coming, as I learn.